Cancer as a Teacher

The lessons learnt after the diagnosis of cancer are common to many who have suffered from this frightening disease, and perhaps a few are unique to our experience. Below are lessons learnt by a couple who have gone through the cancer journey and would like to share something helpful with our readers.

Lesson 1:
As the greatest physician, God appreciates the value of a referral.
God has given our doctors an arsenal of treatments and the will to find cure. We went through many months of denial and postponement that allowed the cancer to advance. This can be totally preventable. Early detection and prevention is important. God wants us to have faith, but at the same time God wants us to seek out earthly assistance.

Lesson 2:
Make sure your doctor understands that hope is a vital part of the practice of medicine.
We heard repeatedly from our doctors that attitude and faith had an enormous effect on healing. One wonders why more physicians aren’t prescribing it. It is at least as effective as some of our medications.

Lesson 3:
Cancer is not an infectious disease.
We will always be grateful for the overwhelming love we received from friends and family. But we are saddened by several personal and professional friends who never once responded to our most basic need to know they cared. The silence is deafening.

Lesson 4:
Avoid Doomsayers.
Just as it is vitally important to hear encouragement from friends and family, it is equally important to avoid those who deliver gloom and doom. Seek out people who radiate a positive glow, and run to the hills from those who drain your energy and confidence.

Lesson 5:
They way you look affects the way you feel.
It is terribly painful to lose one’s hair. But if it’s going to happen, get a short haircut right away. It lessens the trauma as the hair comes out. Wigs can be an opportunity to experiment with the different look you fancy. Take special care to wear clothes that make you feel attractive. Pay attention to grooming and makeup. Look for humour and find opportunities to laugh. It is one of God’s greatest gifts. Nothing can make you feel and look better than a smile.

Lesson 6:
Cancer does not mean the end of a sexual relationship.
It is not easy to talk about one of the most personal aspects of life. The closeness and bond between you and your partner during this time are critically important to maintain. While the period following the diagnosis and treatment requires untold patience and understanding, normal sexual relations can and should continue. It is important to discuss this with your doctor or nurse. They may be able to offer some helpful tips or advice.

Lesson 7:
Listen more, look more and love more.
Cancer changes everything. But it doesn’t have to change everything for the worse. Even in this terrible situation, there is opportunity. It is important to slow down and re-evaluate what and who is really important in life. Cancer can bring wonderful people into your life that will give you strength, love and special kindness.

Lesson 8:
Strengthen Your Faith.
We have save the important lesson for last. God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. We are no longer in denial and are able to go on with our lives feeling enriched and happier than ever. For those of you who do not have a specific religion, talking about your illness with your close friends and relatives will help to strengthen your hope and confidence to cope with it. Cancer is a lonely disease but you don’t have to go through it alone. We have confidence in the future and know that no matter what cancer has in store, we are prepared for it.

The National Cancer Centre conducts support programmes for patients, their families and cancer survivors to address issues of living with cancer. For more information, please call the Cancer Helpline on 6225 5655.

Acknowledgement:
Special Thanks to Mr and Mrs Robert C. Fore for sharing their experience.