Developing the Heart and Mind of a Survivor

By: Ms Edith Lok, A Cancer Survivor

I was in excellent health and had great enthusiasm for living life to the fullest. I went for regular breast cancer screening which detected a few benign lumps in my breasts and that required me to have close monitoring by a doctor.

On Christmas Eve 2001, my doctor phoned to tell me that I have breast cancer. In that first few moments, my mind went completely blank. The first question that came to mind was, “Can it be a mistake?” No, there was no mistake! It took a while for the reality of the diagnosis to sink in. I will need to start treatment soon. The fear of effects from surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy crossed my mind. That gave me a lot of uncertainty and fear. Fortunately, the information given by my doctor and sharing by a close friend who is a breast cancer survivor helped me accept my diagnosis and understand the various treatment options. In Jan 2002, I went for a lumpectomy with removal of lymph nodes from my underarm. My recovery was remarkable. The surgical wound healed well within a month and I was able to start radiotherapy without delay.

I fought hard to keep a positive attitude and that helped me go through all 30 treatments of radiotherapy with minimal side effects. Initially, I did have concerns about the need to take medical leave for my treatment and the fear of the inability to cope with side effects. But, I was quick in putting aside those fears. I rationalised that if I want to survive cancer, I must take charge of my own self and devise a plan to help me cope with the treatment and life after that. I chose not let negative thoughts about cancer destroy the quality of my life because I strongly believe there is still a lot of life left in me to be thankful for. I am currently on oral hormone therapy and 3 monthly injections to lower my high oestrogen level. With these two medications, it is hoped that I could have optimal protection for recurrence of breast cancer.

During the first twelve months of these treatments, I experienced some discomfort related to these two medications. Osteo-arthritis (unrelated to cancer) also developed and had caused severe pain in all my joints making mobility a daily pain bearing effort. I recalled in November 2002 my spirit hit rock bottom. A friend (a breast cancer survivor) shared with me an article she read in the newspaper about the Breast Cancer Foundation (BCF)’s plan to form a dragon boat team comprising breast cancer survivors. This was to be part of a successful programme called Abreast in a Boat founded by Dr Donald McKenzie, a professor of human kinetics at the University of British Columbia. The programme encourages breast cancer survivors to form dragon-boat teams to show that there is life after the illness and to dispel the myth that survivors should not exercise. Today, I am proud to say that I am a pioneer member of the BCF Dragon Boat Team.

My earlier days with the team was difficult as the pain from my arthritis prevented me from completing the in-water training and graduated exercises required to strengthen my arms to row the dragon boat. I did not give up. The camaraderie among us was strong and the encouragement from my team members spurred me on. Our bond extended beyond the physical because each time we met, there was always opportunity to share our experiences and learn practical tips to help live each day the best we can. Whenever one of us feels down, there is always another to lift our spirits up. And that gives me a lot of comfort. I’ve learnt to overcome some fears of being on hormonal therapy because I can compare my experiences with another breast cancer survivor. I thoroughly enjoyed the dragon boat training and the company of these women. It is my hope that by connecting with these remarkable individuals, I can learn how to develop the heart and mind of a survivor, to be an example to new survivors and to live a meaningful new life after cancer.

I would like to share a message with all cancer patients and survivors who are reading this. It is important to get support from a cancer support group. By talking and sharing your fears and concerns with others will help you achieve as normal a life as possible. It may take time and a lot of courage to talk to a stranger but remember, they are the people who have walked the path and know the side roads and short cuts. Strangers become friends and good friends are the people you need when you travel this long winding road to your physical, emotional and psychological recovery.