| 1. |
Work Out!
Exercise is a part of rehabilitation for cancer patients. Sexual desire is stronger when you are in good physical condition. Perhaps there are limits to how much you can exercise or improve your health, but consider what your options are. Your doctor can refer you to a physiotherapist to help with exercises that you can perform. |
| 2. |
Don’t Take Your Body For Granted
Few people feel satisfied with their appearance. The media sets a high standard of beauty and fitness that few can match. It becomes more difficult to love and enjoy one’s body after an illness. Thoughts about weight, wrinkles, scars or other physical changes can distract you in the middle of lovemaking. If you have physical changes from your cancer treatment, you can camouflage them or learn to feel positive about. Having a brush with death can make the pleasures of living more vivid and intense.
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| 3. |
Delight Your Senses
Take extra time to dress in a favourite outfit and notice how nice you look. Delight your sense of smell; take a bubble bath or splash on some cologne or perfume. Rub scented body lotion before bedtime. Enjoy the sense of touch. Ask your partner to stroke your hair or your back. Run your hands over your partner’s body and notice the smooth shapes or soft skin. For the pleasure of sound, put on your favourite music when you’re enjoying each other’s company while whispering something sexy in each other’s ear.
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| 4. |
Slow Cook Your Desire
In the busy lives of most couples, thoughts about intimacy quickly get dismissed, and lovemaking becomes a quickie. Sexual desire needs to simmer on the back burner for a while so that it takes less effort to turn up the flame when the time is right.
Think about activities that put you in the mood. Maybe you need some private time just to relax. Perhaps reading an erotic novel or stories can help develop sexual fantasies to put you in the mood for intimacy. If your energy is limited, take a nap before lovemaking might help. A bath or massage can be a helpful prelude to lovemaking.
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| 5. |
Making Sex More Erotic
If you begin sexual intimacy without having a strong amount of desire, you might find it stressful to get fully aroused or to reach orgasm. This is a common problem after cancer treatment. Perhaps some extra mental or physical sexual stimulation would help you get a better erection or to lubricate more to help make it easier to reach orgasm. Spend a longer time on foreplay, giving each other more feedback on the types of hand caressing or stimulation that feels best, or varying positions for intercourse. Sexy lingerie, sexual aids, videos, lubricants and fancy condoms may help. |
| 6. |
Pills And Potions
The media regularly present stories about sensational, sex-enhancing drugs. Unfortunately, there is no magic pill or a true aphrodisiac. Many herbs and chemicals advertised in health food stores as sexual stimulants have not been scientifically proven to be effective and can often be dangerous. Taking excessive supplements will not improve your sex life and can even be harmful to your health if you exceed the maximum recommended dose.
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| 7. |
Seek Professional Help
Speaking with a professional sex therapist can be helpful in addressing your concerns. You can discuss your problems with your treating oncologist and a referral can be made to the appropriate specialist. |
